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You know you’re a parent when vomit on your shoulder doesn’t even warrant changing shirts.

You know you’re a parent when somebody climbs in bed at 3am only to vomit.

You know you’re a parent when you say to your friend “Why are you cringing? It’s only poop, we all do it.”

You know you’re a parent when children being too quiet warrants investigation.

You know you’re a parent when the second you walk in the door your spouse says “Here she’s YOUR daughter!”

You know you’re a parent when after diligently answering “Why?” two dozen times your spouse says “You know you’re being trolled.”

You know you’re a parent when you find your heart racing with fear while your child does something you loved to do as a kid.

You know you’re a parent when you start saying “Don’t do that you’ll break your neck!”

You know you’re a parent when your response to “Hey mom look at me!” is “NO DON’T….”

You know you’re a parent when you realize your parents were right.

You know you’re a parent when despite swearing against it a thousand times you find yourself saying “because I say so!”

You know you’re a parent when your response to the door being left open is “Are you trying to cool the whole neighborhood?”

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